


In which Lightning Rod Starkiller helps catch a Sith...

by Riverdaughter



Series: Canon, what Canon? [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Anakin helps..., Anakin is NOT laughing...really, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Fix-It, Gen, How not to be a Sith..., Humor saves the day, Obi-Wan is a troll and saves the galaxy, Obi-Wan is smug, Sheev slips up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:54:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23507953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riverdaughter/pseuds/Riverdaughter
Summary: Or that fix-it fic where Obi-Wan Kenobi takes a hint from Psych and wanders around the galaxy introducing Anakin as Jedi Knight Anakin Crash-a-lot...and the galaxy is a better place because of it.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Series: Canon, what Canon? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1804441
Comments: 16
Kudos: 469





	In which Lightning Rod Starkiller helps catch a Sith...

**Author's Note:**

> Also...I know he was basically born reckless...this is just him moving beyond accidental-R2-helped-me-fly-into-an-active space-battle and into the Obi-Wan-face-palms-everytime-I-jump-out-of-a-speeder (which is Obi-Wan at his hypocritical window-smashing best) phase.

The first time it happens Anakin is fifteen and starting to earn the reputation for recklessness that follows him through the rest of his life. Obi-Wan disagrees with this (surprise!) and argues that Anakin was born reckless and age has merely made it more obvious.

Still, Obi-Wan claims it was an accident.

They are on Felucia trying to resolve a dispute and Obi-Wan announces himself as Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi, which is fine and true from whatever point of view Obi-Wan is currently claiming to see things from. The trouble comes when he introduces Anakin…

“This is my padawan, Reck Less Sunrider.”

The Felucians obviously don’t see anything wrong with this, and Anakin has to put up with being called Reck Sunrider for the duration of the trip to the slightly apologetic but mostly smug amusement of his wonderful teacher.

* * *

The second time it happens Obi-Wan’s claim that it “was an accident” is even less believable. They are on Alderaan for some diplomatic function that Anakin is trying to remember the reason for as well as the very complicated protocol for receiving guests.

Obi-Wan once again sweeps in gracefully as Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi and then waves an elegant hand towards Anakin who has just had an inconvenient growth spurt and is trying to understand how to stand on legs that randomly decided to become several inches longer than expected.

“This is my padawan, Nakin Proudfoot.”

And it’s really not funny at all, because Padme is there in the background and he can see her trying not to smile and failing.

* * *

By this point Anakin has decided that while an admirable person in many ways, Obi-Wan has a perverse and evil sense of humor. And why does anyone believe a word that comes out of the man’s hyperbolic mouth?

Seriously, his friendly, tea-drinking, peace-loving teacher is hiding the evil heart of a Sith Lord under his bland off-white robes. A Sith Lord with a terrible sense of humor and a taste for Mandalorian poetry.

This time Obi-Wan doesn’t even try to pretend it’s a mistake when he introduces Anakin to Duchess Satine Kryze as “my padawan Anakin Lightningcatcher…”

So what if they’d run into Count Dooku, a couple weeks earlier. Obi-Wan is lucky to have Anakin around to catch lightning or he’d been the one who was constantly having to request new none polywool robes.

* * *

By the time that Anakin is knighted, he doesn’t even bother correcting Obi-Wan when his disturbing sense of humor seizes upon Anakin has a convenient target. And yes, he has crashed a lot of ships…but it wasn’t like he was trying to crash them.

He’d like to see Obi-Wan do better when landing a ship on next-to-no dry land, three dead engines and sluggish power-couplings.

So when they get sent on a two general scouting mission and Obi-Wan does his usual handwavy introduction of “this is Jedi Knight Anakin Crash-a-lot…” he just sighs and appreciates the rain.

* * *

Unfortunately, Anakin’s tendency to pick up new and interesting extra names somehow becomes news at the Temple. He probably shouldn’t be surprised because for a group of people dedicated to peace, harmony and serenity (when they are not fighting wars or inventing new ways of dismembering people) they are very _attached_ to gossip.

Anakin even overhears Yoda cackling “Crash-a-lot Anakin, this Jedi Knight is…hmm…” and it sounds even worse with the words all inverted.

The next time he passes Mace Windu in a hallway, the man is smirking and asks how Reck Sunrider is doing this fine morning? Really shouldn’t he be off flirting with the darkside in saber practice?

It would serve them all right if Anakin snapped one day. At least he could introduce himself as Darth Hates-Obi-Wan’s-Stupid-Sense-of-Humor.

* * *

On the other hand, Obi-Wan’s stupid sense of humor actually comes in handy on one occasion. Obi-Wan, Ashoka and Anakin himself are supposed to retaking Cato Neimoidia. Obi-Wan being Obi-Wan naturally attempts to spring a trap, which in all fairness he does.

Of course the trap also springs around Anakin and Ashoka and in the inevitable display of lightning, saber skills and dry humor a particularly ugly art-object hits Obi-Wan on the head and he ends up with temporary amnesia. When they wind up listening to Dooku say pompous stuff about the Sith Obi-Wan forgetfully introduces himself as Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin as Ani “Lightning Rod” Starkiller and Ashoka as his promising grand-padawan despite having a teacher with frequent electrocution points.

Which is, as a certain clumsy acquaintance of Anakin’s would say very wude. Even if it’s technically true. Dooku laughs so hard that he doesn’t even notice Ani Starkiller bringing an ostentatious chandelier down on his head.

* * *

It is very unfair that in the end, Obi-Wan’s sense of humor at Anakin’s expense saves them all. Anakin’s life has been steadily falling apart and he is to his own amazement fondly remembering even Obi-Wan’s stupid nicknames.

The war seems endless, Padme is always worried and Ashoka is gone, Anakin had hesitated and thus was unable to follow. She hasn’t even commed him to let him know that she is alright and their training bond is limp and cold even if thankfully unbroken.

So when he stops by for a friendly chat with his old friend Sheev, he is naturally disturbed to notice that Sheev accidently calls him Ani Starkiller. Which is so not funny and also very interesting since the only time that particular nickname was used was in the presence of a Sith. Obi-Wan hadn’t been able to remember anything about his brief taste of amnesia and Anakin highly doubts Ashoka who has never liked the Chancellor would swap nicknames with him.

Which leaves Anakin with the uncomfortable feeling that Count Dooku has been swapping nicknames with Sheev…Anakin’s nicknames.

The more he thinks about it the more it makes sense, how Dooku is always one step ahead, how whenever the Chancellor is involved missions go wrong, how Anakin himself always seems more prone to _bad things_ after hanging out with the Chancellor.

Sheev makes a lightning rod joke and Anakin tries not to shiver. Luckily the Chancellor is too busy chuckling good-naturedly to notice. Anakin slips away to tell Obi-Wan and the pair of them are thus all ears when Fives finds some kind of slave chip in the clones.

Sidious never even sees the lightning rod that hits him.

**Author's Note:**

> no I don't actually know if power-couplings can be sluggish but this is a galaxy where people can run around fighting each other with laser swords and wear impossible amounts of hair.
> 
> also if pick-up lines involving sand didn't ruin your suspension of disbelief, sluggish power couplings shouldn't even strain it
> 
> This is AU of course...which is why Anakin bumps into Padme on Alderaan.


End file.
